01.18.06 - 9:31 p.m.
No He Di'int!!!Insanity, m'friends. Insanity.
Where to start? I'm back at school. Last night in Spain I managed to break out. Literally. I said fuck it and went out alone. Bar. 2 Clubs. First club was hilarious. None of the 18 year olds up in there knew me so I could dance like the fool that I am. I got in the break dance circle TWICE. What I did, I can not tell you, but I recall my head on the floor. Ew. I got hit on after that. Some hot Greek twelve year old. Some broke tooth Spanish guy. I left and went to a Salsa club where I met a very nice Cuban economist and had a nerdy intelligent discussion and danced only a little. At 5am he drove me home. He was so nice and so lonely. He wanted to get together again but I just couldn't. Can't lead on some dude who lives in Spain...
Then back to Snoshoe. I WAS so happy to get here. Saw sexy gay cowboys in Brokeback Mtn. Saw all my friends. Felt social, social, social. Drank, blabbed. Greatgreatgreat until.....
THE DRAMA.
El Nica calls. He wants to talk in person. He tells me we can't have sex anymore because his ex is back in town and he wants to reunite. Strangely I am fine with this. I mean I only knew him a little while and he said it all so nicely, telling me I was the sexiest woman he had ever been with, that I was so amazing I could be with any guy I wanted. Nice. She's 23. BUT THEN... get this. He had sex with my "friend" on new year's. Before his ex came back. This friend is sleeping with his roomate! EW! So not only am I now not terribly happy with said friend, I'm sooo nastied out by the fact that he'd screw a friend of mine AND his roomates girl! That's some fucked up double dipping. I got mad. I told him that he just added another check on my fucked up stereotype on my list of latin men. They cheat- always.
He was upset. He still wants to be friends. I told him I had enough friends, but we could still hang out when I had time....
Then the 'friend'. We talked. She bawled. She said she felt like a whore. She is in major pennance. I'm actually okay with it now. It's not such a big deal. She just needs to be careful. We're not in high school anymore...
Oh, but it goes on. El Nica calls me the next day! Let's go out...let's go get a drink.. can you give me a ride? NO!!!!!!!!!!! He left a message last night asking if I wanted to hook up... as in SEX! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! What a dumb fucker! Thank goodness I am busy enough with school that I'm not tempted by him. We need to have some self regard, no?
I am okay. But I am not going to find anyone any time soon. Even though my professor was happy to see me and giving me Vibes. And the Pakistani one I have a crush on has let me flirt with him 2 days in a row. But being back and being social in general is enough for now. I'm just happy to chat with folks and feel good about not bickering with my mom every damn day. And I'm off to Venezuela on Sat. to fight the imperialists! Right fucking on!
Oy vey.
Paleta
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