06.03.06 - 12:19 p.m.
Mooove the hell on, girl!I am frustrated. And don't feel like writing on real paper. So double entry in a small space of time... imagine!
I am irritated at Crush. I need to have a little session with myself where I sit down, look in the mirror and chant "It's going nowhere. He isn't for you. You don't really want him." over and over until I really believe it.
Last night I saw him out when he said he was too busy to hang out. He said he had to go to a school graduation this morning but then I saw him downtown for this big fucking dairy parade (an entry in itself, just when I am lulled into thinking Snoshoe is small town paradise I realize how I really do not belong and don't want to. A dairy parade? Really? The one good thing I will say is that it was wholesome and quaint and the marshall of the parade was the town transvestite who had a very glamourous sequinned dress, so it's a progressive small town at least....) and I felt awkward and weird and He Was With His Ex.
And the jealousy is pretty mild. I mean it's mild irritation which is better than raging anything, but still, I'm annoyed. And during his descriptions of his laser eye surgery he conveniently left out mention of who drove him to and fro. And there has been a lot of sketch lately.
I Know Better.
I Am Better.
I really need to stop wasting time.
Plus I'm tired. All those cows and that hangover.. .let me sleep and I will maybe be happier. But I really need to not persue him (and I've been pretty good lately about that...).
I rock. Under any circumstance, and I should put that in the mantra!
Palata- who definately does not appreciate dairy.
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