04.21.06 - 10:59 p.m.

Oh dear,
It's been a while. And when that happens a list is in order. Since I've last written:

1. Big City called my name. Incredible visit, lots of beer and great talks with great friends. I think it really is my community. Thinking seriously about doing my thesis about my capoeira group and confronting/dialog-ing about race and justice within the group. Hard but imagine.

2. Decided NOT to take a job in Mexico (!!!) In order to go back and do actual, real, I-live-in-this-community type life in Big City. Try and keep my energy for activism and Get Involved in a million 'real' things and try not to just go to the bar and drink and do it alla time.

3. Had a ridiculous semi-humping session with the Crush and told him that I thought we could really go somewhere with whatever it is we had and he did too, but that he needed time to deal with ending his last relationship. So I said "Call me when you're ready." Guess who hasn't called. This is the problem with knowing 'who you are' and 'what you want' cuz when it doesn't turn out 'sactly like you want it you question if those two things were really terribly solid in the first place. I don't really want to be with anyone who isn't clear about what they want, so I am a bit lonely now and all of these incredible sunny days seem a little dimmer with no booty to share them with. Not the booty I think I want anyway.

4. My hair is looking GOOD these days (thanks to a crack head hair dresser in Big City. He really was On Something, but did a good job.) and I have a little tan across the bridge of my nose which makes me look purty. So even though Crush doesn't know what he's missing, I do (? hunh?).

More later, I'm tired.
Paleta de Sunkissed

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