02.08.06 - 11:06 a.m.

How stupid is Little Miss Paleta? Shall we count the ways? Could feeling jealous when I saw Nica dancing with another girl (at the club I drove him to) count as the first one? I think that is small potatoes considering what the real stupidity was. Not only did I call him last week and think that we were starting something new (stupid), but in the wee hours of the morning in an attempt to get him off after hours of doing it, and me being all set, we not only had sex without protection (really stupid) but he actually came in me (beyond any stupidity yet imagined). No boy has come in me since my ex days and even only did when I had my period. Sorry if this is too much info. That's what diaries are for. I am too old to be that stupid. But WAIT- it gets better. After the sex (which, unfortunatley, felt amazing)he brought up the ex again! Told me he couldn't keep doing this with me-again, and blah blah blah.

How rude is it when a boy comes in you and then dumps you? What kind of extrememley fucked up shit is that?

So I took the morning after pill (he paid), thank god for planned parenthood, am waiting to puke, am exhausted after too little sleep and have nothing left except the smell of his too much cologne in my room and a stack of reggaeton and dancehall cd's he made me.

It was not worth the risk. Wish I hadn't called him. Wish I'd've stuck to my self respect and never tried this with him again.

I am NEVER going to find someone right for me when the only men in my life are a married professor who hits on me (and every other girl in the world, found out I'm not even special there..) and some boy who is just a mess.

Bad day.
P.

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