01.15.05 - 8:34 p.m.

I got out! Thag gawd. I am spending the weekend in Very Big City near suburb where death occurred visiting a friend of mine that moved away from where I live. He's wonderful. I'm always glad to see him. He is in looove in a very non-PDA way and lives in an orange accented apartment with his International Boyfriend.

I'm so happy to be out of Watching T.V. and Feeling Impatient With My Grandmother Land. We went to visit a capoeira class here. It felt good, but in the roda people were playing me really aggressively. It's happened before... I don't think I'm coming on strong, but I guess I do. I also kind of cheat by not wearing my belt and not being honest about how long I've trained and so people don't expect me to not be easily dominated. One girl poked me in the eye and I got angry and found myself putting her in a headlock...I really could have and kind of wanted to hurt her. She was light and her neck was weak. I'm glad I didn't but my adrenaline was so up...it's hard to balance ego and competition in capoeira, especially with other women. There's this dominating thing. Sometimes only the truly dominant women are the friendly ones. But otherwise it felt good to play, which hasn't happen for a while.

I'm excited to have fun tonight and tomorrow before I go back to Deathville. I'm also going to get to go to my hometown and visit family and the few friends I have left there. That should be fun.

Last time I was home I went out salsa dancing and met a Honduran guy who was very cute and worked at the dollar store (Hook me up with plastic buckets, yo!). We had a two-night stand (dad's house and then dad's car, sorry papa) and then he asked me to be his girlfriend and began making plans to visit me in Big City. It freaked me out a little bit. My boy choices are getting worse as I get older. Or maybe they're just narrowing?

At the same place I also danced with a very short, very build Dominican guy who held on to my ass as we danced bachata and said "What are you?" Eventually I got that he wanted my nationality, which, depending on who I'm talking to is "Gringa Pura" or "Little White Girl" or "Russian Jew". I wish I had more latin family culture, but you can't pick where you came from. Just who you like to mount!

I'm going to melt my paleta tonight, me hopes!

Adeus....

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