01.04.05 - 1:11 p.m.

Thinking about a million things and trying to stay perkypositive. Ugh. I did manage to have a good workout yesterday even thought I was on a dreaded Machine. I 'borrowed' my roomate's cd player (It's so nice to have roomates that have cool stuff to use. I think I have cool books, and all the cookware and furntiture in the house is pretty much mine, but she has good toys.) and because of Strictly The Best 31 was able to run for 30 whole minutes. I LOVE DANCEHALL REGGAE! And lover's rock. And roots. But dancehall made me excercize like a mad woman. I must have looked a little crazy because for a while there I was doing this loping, jumping thing along to a particularly good song, but who cares? I sweated good.

Dancehall is probably my favorite music to dance to. I like salsa a lot too, but salsa is more perscribed, more civilized, like. Dancehall is just funky. I can feel it and rub my ass all over the place and wiggle my legs and just feel like hot stuff. Me gusta.

I had a very female conversation with my friend Beriba (who,it must be said is GEORGOUS) last night. We talked about all of the ten million things we didn't like about ourselves (strangely the conversation began by bemoaning men) and they were all these minute dumb things. At one point I had my pants down and was showing her the veins in the backs of my legs. With my jeans around my ankles I realized we needed desperatley to turn the tables and talk about what we LIKED about ourselves. There were some nice things, but it was hard for me to just accept them and not say "Yes, but.." for every nice thing. So in the spirit of feeling beautiful I like these things about me
1.My new eyebrows bring out my purty eyes (added bonus: my eyes remind me of my dad's eyes)
2. I smile A LOT and oftentimes it makes the person I'm smiling at smile back.
3.I'm adventurous.
4.I love to dance, and don't care what people think of how I dance and I think that abandon makes me a good dancer because my energy is enthusiastic.

Four is good for now. Don't want anyone to think I'm too perfect or anything.

I had a bad night at capoeira last night. Just felt like I couldn't get my body to move the way I wanted it and couldn't reconcile my ego. Sometimes I'd kill to be a 23 year old boy with muscles (at least in capoeira class...)

I also called that boy I met the other night. I don't know if I should have. It was a nice enough phone call, but I'm getting tired of being the chaser. Partly it's my impatience, I don't like to sit around and wait for a call (at my age, it's not worth playing games) but if I want to have someone else be the agressor I need to develop some more patience. He said let's get together sometime, which is a good sign. We shall see. I need to stop analyzing and live for the day, be in the now, etc. etc.

This is what happens when you don't work so much. You think about yourself too damn much!

There are tootsie rolls at this internet place. MMMMMMM...
Todo mi amor and then some-
Paletinha

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