12.29.04 - 5:46 p.m.
Reading Other People's PrivatesI think I'm depressed. I feel all friendless and lonely and I know all I need to do is Pick Up The Phone and call people and then I will find myself running around having fun. I think losing the beautiful green and the constant newness of Frijol and winding up here in Freezing Coldville and not having decent work is taking it's toll.
I have some random things lined up. Horrifying babysitting (some rich coke lady's daughter, she wants me to speak spanish to the kid while she has sex with the spanish tutor) and this cooking thing I did last year, which is a lot of fun. p>
And so I've been searching for random temporary work before I return to El Frijol. I've been looking on Craig's list and there are some tripped out jobs there. I could get paid to open the door for some guy's party (he lives on the third floor and his buzzer doesn't work.. someone suggested charging the guests at the door to make a few more $).... I could get paid to be a coatcheck out of someone's bedroom for their New Year's party (they wanted me to come over and 'interview' over punch tonight) or get paid $250 to drive someone from one set of suburbs to another. I'm not sure why they're paying so much. I don't think I'd have to do it naked or anything. We shall see.
I'm also still trying to work on my stories and comics about traveling, but it's hard. I ended up writing this little thing about reading other people's journals (real, paperback, private journals). I definatley have a compulsion to look in other people's journals and usually overcome and stay strong. But I've had a few mishaps along the way (yes, I suck) and always find something I don't like.
Like back in the day when I moved to California to be with this long-distance boyfriend and then read his journal and found out he was dating someone else and was too chickenshit to tell me, so I moved all the way out there for nothing. (But had me a very good San Fran experience which included living with Bubba and Larry who will feature prominently in my travel stories, under 'Tripwires and Automatic Rifles' and 'Agoraphobics Spend All Day Inside Giving Themselves Head).
I had someone recently read my journal in El Frijol when I handed it to him to lean on while he was rolling a joint. Someone told me that that was like giving him permission to look inside. And he did. And read a part where I talked about how he was a jerk and plastic and I hated the way he did this one sexual thing. At least it opened up some interesting conversation. But he did the nasty sex thing again anyway.
Of course I like it when someone reads my diary. I've been keeping one since I was 8 with this idea in the back of my mind that I would somehow be so important that people would read it when I was famous, yet dead.
I had a personal training session at the gym today and not only was it kind of fun, my knee doesn't hurt that bad. I'm starting to feel guilty that I know I'm going to bail out after my month trial because I can't afford to be a real member. Can you believe the membership is for 3 years though? Sheeit. The trainer guy was fit and balding and pretty entertaining. Although he told me I shouldn't eat carbs after breakfast (starch is my reason for being) and did not include rice and beans anywhere on my diet plan. I would not survive in El Frijol. I also found out that oatmeal takes a long time to digest so you shouldn't eat it late in the day either.
We shall see.
bye!
Paleta de avena
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