12.25.04 - 12:11 a.m.
Things in Two'sHere are some good ideas that are appropriate for Xmas Eve (one is old and one is new).
1. If you want to take out a pirate it's easy. All you have to do is kick out his peg leg from under him, poke him in his good eye and block the hook.
2. If you are a jealous fiance and your boyfriend is having a bachelor party, get him a stripper but make it a transvestite.
I hope number 2 doesn't offend someone. I got the idea because a friend of mine was telling a story about a bunch of het boys getting all worked up over a stripper and then she showed her weenie and the boys got all freaked out about being excited.
I don't have lots of experience with strippers, although once I did see one that squirted lotion down a boys pants and then spanked him with a belt. I hope the lotion cushioned the blows a bit.
I also hope number 1 doesn't offend anyone. I hear pirates are sensitive.
It's Christmas Eve and I am with friends who are so giving that they loaded me up with an old laptop that I can borrow! This is a great thing from a ballerina and a boy who stuffs his hats full of newspaper. They are wonderful people for many reasons but two reasons are:
1. She puts craisins in her salads.
2. He knows how to make radiator covers.
My plans for tomorrow are not very bold. I have no family here and everyone I know is gone for the holiday (except the Argentinians but I don't know if I'm in the mood to try and be cute when I'm feeling like holiday melancholy...). So my plans for tomorrow are (and the numbering is becoming a theme)
1. Watch movies I rented (and it was hard to find VHS 'cuz now everyone uses DVD's. Sigh.)
2. Smoke weed.
Don't get the wrong idea if you have weed issues. It's like a celebratory thing because in the Central Am. country I work in, we'll call it El Frijol (and I hope that isn't offensive, it's just what they eat all the damn time)- In El Frijol if a woman smokes she is bad, bad, bad and so it's nice to feel free and comfy doing it here.
And now I'm being paranoid because I'm writing illegal AND offensive things in my diary. Oh well. At least I had a damn fine salad tonight.
Merry Happy,
paleta (mi favorita es de goiaba)
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